Truth or Dare: Avoidance
by dwparsnip
Summary: A response to ladygris' Truth or Dare Challenge. Rodney doesn't want to play, but he ends up winning in my opinion. Chapters have been added.
1. Avoidance

A response to ladygris' Truth or Dare Flash Fiction Challenge.

I don't own Stargate Atlantis….MGM does.

Comes in at 300 words.

* * *

"McKay?"

John stood in the doorway of one of the auxiliary labs and peered into the darkened room. He'd been searching for Rodney for an hour, and he was getting damned sick of the wild Canuck chase.

"McKay!" he hissed into the room.

Empty.

_Or not?_ he thought as a noise from the far right corner of the room caught his attention.

He walked inside moving silently towards the large desk in the corner. He approached it, the familiar tapping of fingers on a tablet screen growing louder. When he reached the desk he could see the glow on the wall coming from a light source underneath the desk.

A sardonic smile came to his lips as his hands rose upwards and then came down hard onto the desk. "MCKAY!"

He couldn't help but laugh at the loud thump and string of cursing that followed. He gave McKay a moment to get it out of his system, then moved around and sat down next on the floor next to his friend.

"What the hell are you doing, Rodney?"

Rodney stopped rubbing his owie and glared at Sheppard. "I'm hiding from Jennifer."

John didn't know what shocked him the most- that he was hiding from Jennifer, or that he admitted it.

"She's been nailing everyone with that truth or dare thing," explained Rodney.

"It's only a game…"

"A game?" squeaked Rodney. "Are you kidding? It's truth or dare. **TRUTH** or **DARE**! People can't handle the truth, and some of these dares are ridiculous."

"Rodney?" came Jennifer's voice from the doorway.

McKay slapped his hand over Sheppard's mouth and shook his head to keep him quiet. They waited for a minute, and just as Rodney was about to relax Jennifer's amused voice said from above them, "Hello, Rodney. Truth or dare."

"Crap."


	2. Jennifer gets Rodney

Still don't own it.

Guess it'll be a three parter now.

* * *

When Rodney refused to answer, Jennifer walked around the desk. When he looked up at her she smiled and repeated, "Truth or dare, Rodney?"

Rodney scrambled to his feet. "Listen, I have more important things to do than to be sucked into this childish game. I've seen what's been going on. People are getting pissed off with each other or they end up doing something so stupid it isn't funny." His chin lifted an inch. "And for what? Hmn? For what?"

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Sheppard inch away from him, afraid to be near him when Jennifer let loose on him. Sheppard didn't know Jennifer; at least not like he knew her.

She clasped her hands in front of her. "Could you excuse us for a second, Colonel?"

John barely spared Rodney a glance before bolting for the door.

A moment later Jennifer approached Rodney, and he couldn't resist closing his eyes as she leaned in and whispered, "Truth or dare?"

He gulped and accepted his fate. He was a fan of truths when it came to science and math. In other things, however, truth was painful. "Dare."

Jennifer leaned back, and the angelic smile on her face told him he was in trouble.

Two hours later he was in the Mess hall, sweating like nobody's business. He finished his dare, and to his shock the nearly full Mess erupted in applause, with Jennifer applauding the loudest.

She ran up to him and threw her arms around his neck in a hug so tight that it made him sweat for a different and more pleasant reason.

She leaned back and smiled. "That was the best rendition of 'God Bless America' I've ever heard."

"Good. So," Rodney asked with a raised brow, "truth or dare?"


	3. Rodney gets Jennifer

MGM still owns SGA. I do not.

Last one. 300 words.

_Summer of 69_ is owned by Bryan Adams. _American Woman_ is owned by The Guess Who.

* * *

"This is ridiculous!" complained Jennifer.

"It is," agreed Rodney from behind her.

She turned away from the mirror and faced him, her eyes in full kicked puppy dog mode.

Rodney started shaking his head before she could utter the sweet nothings she had lined up. "Forget it."

"But…"

He crossed his arms and nodded towards the mirror.

She sighed and turned back to finish her makeup job. "This is so much more than what I asked you to do."

"'Dared' me to do," he clarified, "and yes it is. I figure the dare should be proportionate to one's willingness to play. I didn't want to play so my dare was simple- relatively speaking. Me, of all people, singing 'God Bless America'- of all things, wasn't simple…"

Jennifer paused her work just long enough to roll her eyes.

"…but you! You are a willing participant and as such your dare should reflect that."

She glared at his reflection, seriously tempted to tell him how complex her feelings towards him were at that moment. Instead she gave up and finished her work.

She turned around and let him inspect the giant, red Maple Leaf covering her entire face. He studied her and nodded. A moment later they were heading towards the Mess.

"Go a little crazy with the makeup this morning, Doc?" asked Sheppard when they approached him.

She immediately broke into the chorus of _Summer of 69_.

"Whenever someone comments on her face she has to sing the chorus of a song by a Canadian artist," explained Rodney. "Just look at the job she did with her makeup."

Jennifer grimaced and sang the chorus of _American Woman_.

When she was done Sheppard looked at Rodney with blatant admiration. "Well played, Rodney."

Jennifer would never admit it, but she had to agree.


	4. A Little Truth

Another one for kicks. comes in at 298 words.

MGM owns SGA.

* * *

Rodney had a headache, which is what usually happened when he spent a few days following Colonel Adventure and Conan the Happy Traveler offworld on a wild goose chase.

He'd walked through the gate an hour ago and through sheer habit stumbled to the Infirmary, then went to his quarters to shower. Then he somehow managed to find the Mess and walk along the counter long enough to throw something on his tray.

He walked over to the nearest table and sat down, not giving a damn about forgetting the tray on the counter. He sighed, then placed his arms on the table and gently laid his head on them. Seconds later he was snoring.

He was shaken awake, and even without looking he knew it was Sheppard. "Leave me alone," he muttered into his arm.

"Truth or dare, Rodney?"

Rodney felt himself on the verge of tears as he mumbled a rather nasty profanity.

"What?" asked Sheppard. "I didn't hear you."

"Don't think you want to know what that was," said Ronon with a smirk.

Rodney rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Meredith," Sheppard chimed.

He was too damned tired, not to mention too sick of the game for another dare. He lifted his head up enough to clearly say, "Truth," then let his head fall down again, hoping if he played along Sheppard would leave him the hell alone.

"How many women have you had sex with?"

Rodney was too tired to even be indignant with the question. "Four."

"Four?" asked Sheppard. "How many since coming to Atlantis?"

Rodney lifted his head up to tell Sheppard where to go, but he came face to face with Jennifer. His mind sharpened and he smiled at her.

"One," he said as she blushed and returned his smile. "**The** one."


	5. Two in a Crowd

Okay, so I pissed at least one person off and disheartened a few more with my 'McKay Plus Four' chapter this morning. To at least partly make amends for that, I give you this. It's over the allotted word limit but I didn't have a choice.

MGM owns SGA.

* * *

Jennifer made her way past the crowded tables in the Mess, doing an admirable job of balancing the tray precariously held in her hands.

The place was absolutely blocked.

That was what happened when a new crew rotation arrived. There was always an overlap and there ended up being a lot more people trying to get breakfast than usual.

She stopped in the middle of the bedlam and scanned the room, looking first for Rodney and then any empty seat. As her eyes moved across the many faces a conversation from the table behind her caught her attention.

"I didn't realize how handsome Dr. McKay is," said a female voice.

"I didn't either!" agreed another female voice with too much enthusiasm for Jennifer's liking. "I was expecting him to he be an old fart or something."

"Me too," said the first voice. "But far from it."

Jennifer could feel the heat rising up out of her chest and into her neck. _My blood pressure must be up around my ears, _she thought as she moved away from the conversation.

She was still steaming when she stopped again to look around. And to her utter dismay, more voices caught her attention.

"What do you think of McKay?" asked a woman's voice.

There was a sound of delight and another woman responded, "I think he's delicious. Have you seen those hands? They look like they can work magic."

There was a shrill giggle from the first voice. "And he's super smart so you know he knows just what to do."

Jennifer was just about to turn around and give the harlots a piece of her mind when one of them said, "Speak of the devil!"

Jennifer turned and immediately caught sight of Rodney who, as luck would have it, was heading straight for her.

When he reached her she smiled and turned towards the women who had been talking about Rodney and said with exaggerated gentleness, "Do you mind if I lay my tray here for a moment?" She slid the tray onto the table without waiting for a response and then said, "Thank you so much!" before turning back to Rodney.

"Truth or dare?"

Rodney's face fell, but to her immeasurable pleasure he said, "Dare."

"Kiss me," she said and she almost laughed at how wide his eyes went.

"Kiss you?"

She nodded. "Right here, right now."

Rodney stepped closer to her and put his hands on her hips. He leaned into her and as his lips descended onto hers he said, "That's not a dare."

Her arms slipped around his neck and pulled his body to her as they kissed. Through the rushing of blood and pleasure in her ears she managed to hear identical dreamy sighs from the table behind her. She deepened the kiss and nearly moaned at the way his hands squeezed her hips and then slid back until they rested on her back just above her ass.

A few moments later she slipped her lips away from his but kept her body pressed against his. She couldn't help but notice that the Mess had gone completely silent. "Thanks."

He shook his head and bright blue eyes peered through her eyes and into her soul. "It was my pleasure."


	6. Too Much Ice

MGM owns SGA. I don't Damn it.

300 words according to Word. I think it cheats, but I'm not complaining.

* * *

Jennifer kept her eyes glued to the monitor, the only link she had at the moment to the man she loved.

M39-4K1 was a world in a planet wide ice age, though there had been no way to know that. Sheppard's team had gone far enough from the gate to determine the power spike the MALP had picked up was some sort of natural phenomena and turned around. When the gate came to life, part of the area surrounding it disappeared, taking Rodney and the MALP with it.

Luckily he had fallen into a cavern with the MALP, though the cavern itself was completely buried in. They were digging him out, but it was taking too long.

The MALP signal had been fuzzy but had been steadily getting clearer. A good sign according to Radek.

"How are you doing, Doctor?"

Jennifer didn't know if Woolsey had directed the question to her or Rodney, but it was a stupid one either way.

'I..I..I've…be…been…bett…er,' Rodney responded through chattering teeth.

The screen showed a temp of minus forty in the cavern and he was already showing signs of moderate hypothermia. If they didn't get him out soon he would…

Jennifer took a quick, deep breath to force those thoughts away. "Rodney!" she shouted when he closed his eyes.

He opened them again. 'Ti…tired.'

"I know you are," she said as a piece of her heart shattered. She had to do something. "Truth or dare, Rodney?"

He smiled. 'Dare. Can…can't do much…here.'

A noise tore from her mouth, a mixture of a laugh and a sob. She steadied herself and said, "Stay alive."

Suddenly a shaft of brilliant white light poured down on Rodney

Jennifer smiled when she heard Sheppard call out to him, and smiled even wider when Rodney nodded and said, 'Okay.'


	7. Never Hurt Anybody

Don't know where this came from, which seems to be the norm lately.

MGM owns Atlantis. Maybe with the new merger they've got going on they'll make a damn movie about it.

* * *

If the truth was to be known, John and Rodney both had the same pet peeve: going to a planet for some sort of peaceful reason only to end up sitting in jail, which is where they found themselves on P3N-5J8. It was a celebration to honor the cooperation treaty between Atlantis and the Hadlorians, until something happened and all hell broke loose.

Rodney groaned and tried to shift his weight from one side of his ass to the other. "How long has it been?"

Sheppard shrugged. "Three hours."

Rodney made a noise of profound disgust.

Sheppard couldn't help but laugh, which of course pissed Rodney off, which of course only made him laugh harder.

"Yes it does," agreed Sheppard. He sighed as the cell went silent, save for the footfalls of the guard that had been studiously walking back and forth through the corridor.

Sheppard noticed Rodney's leg begin to twitch. "So, Rodney, truth or dare?"

"Are you kidding!" Rodney exploded, which brought the guard running to the bars to check on them.

"No," said Sheppard softly, ignoring the guard. "What else are we going to do?"

"Relax," said Rodney as he leaned his head back against the wall. After a moment he sighed. "Truth."

Sheppard smiled. "Good man, Rodney. So, what do you love about Keller?"

Rodney turned and glared at Sheppard, but after a moment his stare softened and he said, "Everything."

Both men jumped when the guard spoke. "You and Doctor Keller are…lovers?"

"Yes. So?"

Both men stared as the guard opened the door and beckoned them to follow. "Dr. Keller saved my lover's life," he said as he led them towards the exit. "It is only fitting that I return the favor."

Sheppard clapped Rodney on the shoulder. "See, Rodney? A little truth never hurt anybody!"


	8. The Dare to End All Dares

This is it….the last one. I'm sure the vast majority of you, if not all, will easily catch the Star Wars reference, so Star Wars belongs to George Lucas I guess, or 20th Century Fox. Either way, I don't own it.

Nor do I own SGA. MGM does. 298 words.

* * *

Rodney sensed a disturbance in the Force. For no other reason than that, he looked up from his tablet to find Jennifer walking towards him.

_I really need to rethink my hiding places,_ thought Rodney as he picked up his tablet and hugged it to him. He quickly glanced around to determine the best avenue of escape but found himself trapped. _Yes, see? That's what I mean! What kind of genius tries to hide in a room with only one exit?_

Of course it occurred to him that trying to avoid Jennifer, a strong, beautiful and intelligent woman he adored was wrong on so many levels. He simply couldn't help it. She'd gotten out of control with the whole truth or dare thing. Granted, it had saved his life once and gotten them out of a jam or two, and there was that one time she'd dared him to kiss her in a crowded Mess, but enough was enough.

"Neither," he said when she sat down across from him.

Jennifer's smile dropped and her brow creased in confusion. "I'm sorry?"

Rodney placed his tablet back on the table and folded his arms across his chest. "Truth or dare. I'm not doing either of them. I quit." He put his hands on the table and leaned forward, inspiration having struck him like a lightning bolt. "Actually, that's not true. I have one for you. Truth or dare?"

_Please pick dare! Please pick dare!_ he chanted to himself.

Jennifer thought for a moment. "Dare."

Rodney smiled and leaned back in his chair. "I, Dr. Rodney McKay, do dare you, Dr. Jennifer Keller, to never play truth or dare again."

Jennifer sighed in relief and reached across the table. When Rodney took her hand she said with a wide smile, "Done."


End file.
